More Than A Few#
will tell you that chess is a psychological game. For the most part I tend to disagree, but to a degree I agree… I would say chess is more of a psychological game when you and your opponent are evenly matched or when you are significantly lower rated than your opponent. Otherwise it is really just about who plays chess better. Better moves will almost always trump psychological tactics. Nonetheless, it is an important component of your chess playing repertoire especially during online gameplay. Now, during online gameplay you won’t have the opportunity to be as creative with your psychological attacks as you would in an OTB match, but there are plenty of things you can do to get in your opponent’s head and all with the comfort of knowing that these can all be done with impunity. Any of the following suggestions might normally get you slapped in the face but you’re safe to execute any of these behind a keyboard and mouse.
The following tactics should be well known for any serious online chess player. I’ve experienced a barrage of these countless times in my chess career which is why I’m so familiar with them. In fact, being hardened to these tactics has drastically improved my emotional control and made me less susceptible to their intended effects. I recommomend famliarizing yourself with them
** It should go without saying that you should not violate any of chess.com’s fairplay rules… but it doesn’t mean you can’t push the boundaries. The best trolls often do. Keep in mind that you can always get reported for unsportsmanlike conduct. Enough of these and you could potentially get banned. If that does happen feel free to check out my other article [unlocking the chess multiverse]
Offer A Draw… whenever#
Are you in a clearly losing position? Offer a draw. This says to your opponent that he’s no better off than you are in this position and he shouldn’t be wasting his time trying to win when the result is so obvious. This displays your superior intellect by “correctly” evaluating the position before he does. Nothing aggravates an intellectual more than a stunning display of confident incorrectness. There is a decent chance that after the offer he’ll start looking for the best moves to prove it’s not a draw. This will cause him to lose time and give you some potential flagging opportunities as there is not a lot of pressure on you other than to stay alive for the remainder of the game. If he declines, offer again. And then again and again until he has to move his mouse off the board to block your offers. The cool thing about this one is that if your opponent does lose for whatever reason you get to rub salt in the wound by advising that he “should have taken the draw” thereby amplifying the effectiveness.
Start Late#
There is a slight advantage to starting as late as possible and that is giving your opponent a false sense of hope. He thinks those extra 30 seconds are going to help him in a 10 minute game. And they should, but if you can get in his head then they mean nothing. Here’s how to do it. For your first move start as late as possible without chess.com auto-aborting, then just start pre-moving the majority of your opening like you’re playing a bullet match (especially if you are playing a bullet match). Your opponent won’t know what hit him. The trick to this is knowing your openings fairly well and not blundering. Your opponent thinks he has so much time that he doesn’t feel the urgency and his mind tends to be a bit sluggish while you’re all ready to go full beast mode.
Correctly timed “GG”#
A “Good luck” before the game starts is polite. A “GG” at the end is good sportsmanship. A “GG” before the game is over is an insult and shouldn’t be mistaken for anything else. This one is most effective when made after a suddenly winning position. The key is to time the “GG” after your opponent blunders a piece. Simply from that mistake will he be steaming. But when you sink in that “GG” he’ll go full tilt. The other ideal time to sink this comment in is when he’s low on time. Even though the evaluation bar would say the game is about even sending a friendly “GG” will tell him that there is no hope even if he happens to be the one in the winning position. A correctly timed “GG” should make your opponent want to scream “It’s not over yet!!”
Play an Insultingly Dubious Opening#
Ideally, said opening should be studied so that you can actually maintain the advantage after pissing your opponent off. Otherwise you’re more likely to just look like a fool while getting crushed. In other words, for this opening to be truly effective you will need to put in some work. Ever heard of the Bong Cloud? Yeah, that’s a notoriously dubious opening, but if studied dilligently, can be your opponent’s kryptonite. Here is a short list of openings to get under your opponents’ skin:
BongCloud- This one needs no introduction Botez Gambit- sac your queen like a chad ASAP and play annoyingly perfect afterwards CopyCat Opening- just copy your opponent on every move until he figures out what you’re doing. He’ll then try to trick you into playing a bad move knowing his tempo sets him up for a better position. This is when you deviate. The Jerome Gambit- 1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Bc4 Bc5 4. Bxf7+?! Kxf7 5. Nxe5+ Nxe5 … sac the bishop for sketchy ass but tricky play
Calmly Offer Advice Post Game#
This one is good if your opponent offers a well-deserved rematch after he lost. Imagine your insufferable deadbeat neighbor winning the Powerball and going on to expalain how you just need to pick yourself up from your bootstraps like he did in order to be successful. The two worst things about that scenario is he believes his own words and he has the “proof”.
Did you win by complete and absolute luck or flag your opponent with only .69 seconds to spare? Did you barely scrape by with a win on your last game? Were you in a completely losing position only to have your opponent blunder mate in 1 leaving you the victor? AND DOES HE WANT ANOTHER GAME??? Before you accept the rematch let him squirm a little. Really make the blood boil. At this point make vague, seemingly smart sounding suggestions to help your opponent improve his gameplay as though your superior chess knowlege is what secured the win while making sure you don’t corner yourself into explaining exactly why you won. Really trying to sound smug is key. Tilting is easy when your opponent has to dig his way through 6 layers of irony just for you to get the point. He’ll likely be scrambling to explain to you that it was all due to chance and that he should have won except for “blah blah blah…”. The trick here is to really make him believe that you believe only your assessment. In fact the less you acknowledge his responses the more effective this tactic is. Afterall, you won. Why should his word matter? The perfect suggestion sounds smug while seemingly oblivious. Chances are, he’ll want another game but will be utterly tilted for the next match.
Check Back Later#
for more creative ways to troll your opponents! And if you have any creative ways to troll feel free to leave em down in the comments! Now get out there and do some chessin’ n trollin'!